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Silly Moment #3 – Let’s Dance

This is a  ❤️❤️❤️ palpitation moment. I have had many opportunities to dance in public and and always opt out.  This challenge makes me nervous.

Moment:  To dance a silly dance live on Periscope.

Details: Thanks to Melissa Ruddy, my fellow Periscope friend, and her sweet kids, Jack and Erin who TOTALLY rock in the area of silly, I have accepted their challenge to silly dance.  And because these kiddos are so gracious, they provided me with a how-to video on Periscope.  They are amazing!  So, I have been studying the dance moves of Elaine from Seinfeld and will attempt to replicate.

My fear:  That I will look ridiculous and my fellow human beings will think less of me…like some dippy, featherbrained, nitwit. And that my viewers will have to shut off the video as quickly as possible or cover their eyes in horror. And THIS is the super ridiculous part, I’m afraid I won’t do Elaine’s dance right. 🙁 Oh, for heaven’s sake!!!

Also, I decided that if I didn’t dance live on Periscope (if I just showed the recording of it), I would attempt to make it perfect. And with Silly Moments, letting go of perfectionism is the goal.  Going  live was terrifying because if it looked stupid, I couldn’t erase it. It was done.

Response:  The wonderful ladies who watched me on Periscope were amazing. They were so proud of me and rooted me on, “You can do it”, “You’ll do great.”, “I’ll do it too over here. Don’t worry.” At the completion of my dance, @lisaaynwalker told me it was epic and  @HachureArtist told me she loved me.  🙂 I love Periscope World. The people there are so supportive and encouraging. I couldn’t have picked a nicer bunch of gals to dance in front of.  Oh! And the amount of hearts they sent me!!! I don’t think I have ever received that many hearts in one scope.

UPDATE: I just saw a very special scope from my 2 new young friends, Jack and Erin . Erin  explained how my dancing inspired her mom to face her fears too. I’m telling you…I teared up.  And then when Erin said she was afraid to play basketball because she’s not very good at it, I literally sucked air.  Oh, my goodness. Truth from the mouths of babes. Such honesty. How many things am I afraid to do simply because I don’t think I will be good at it?

Truth: It certainly did not seem as if my watchers felt I was a nitwitted featherbrain. They seemed to enjoy encouraging me to break free from my fears. Maybe when people know your character, they know your intentions, they know you are trying to be brave, maybe they think being silly is actually honorable. And truth be told, would it even matter if someone thought I didn’t have a brain in my body just because I was willing to be silly? Wouldn’t that make them ridiculous? Hmmm.  I am astonished how much I care about what others think of me. I really thought I had that area of my life under control. Ha!!

I’m starting to get excited about this journey. What if I became known as a silly person. Wouldn’t that be amazing? You now what? I wonder if  Albert Einstein was a bit silly. Remember this picture?

Albert Einstein I bet NO ONE thought him to be dim-witted.  That is one of my favorite pictures of him. Here is a man who is obviously a genius and he still could have fun.

I am going to have to start exercising more and slathering on more lavender oil; I don’t know how much cortisol (stress hormone) one can live on EVERY day and not have it harm them.  :-p

New Fear: Interesting. I don’t have any new ones related to this.  Well…I guess that isn’t completely true. I’m wondering if I will be brave enough to dance at the next wedding. I’ll take Einstein’s picture with me to remind me being silly is good.

How I feel:  I was asked this question right after my dance, and my first response was ’embarrassed.’ But now, after working through the fears, I feel pretty good about it. And really, it wasn’t as awful and embarrassing as I had imagined it would be. The fear was definitely bigger than reality.  I think I need to dance more.

Silly Moment #2 – Finger Painting Pollock Style

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Just one ❤️ palpitation for this challenge. The fear level is low.

Moment: Fingerpaint in the privacy of my own home.

Details: Pull out my Dollar Tree find of 4 colors and paint something.

My Fear:  What is the point? I am no artist. This is going to look like a preschooler (no offense to the tiny guys) painted this. When I paint live on Periscope, it’s going to be a BIG yawner.

The Response:  There were 2 wonderful people watching today, and my friend Jenn said it inspired her to get out her paints. Pierz said my dog painting was very Jackson Pollock . LOL!! Hardly. BUT his comment got me thinking, “maybe I should stop trying to paint exact representations of objects and free paint for awhile.” And I’m so glad I did. It took my mind off the value of the art and made it more fun.

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Duke – Our Golden Retriever

Truth: When I relaxed and attempted to remove my judgements (I was not completely successful at this) I began to actually create.  For one picture, I completely closed my eyes; the end product wasn’t super pleasing to my eye, but I liked not being able to judge myself while I was creating.  I guess it surprised me how much I desired a worthy (something beautiful in my eyes) painting, and how disappointed I continued to be. Now THAT is ridiculous. These were FINGER PAINTS!!!  So, my little perfectionist was far too alive in this process for my liking. My last painting I thought I would create a series of hearts in honor of Valentine’s Day.  When completed, I was again less than excited. Wow! Being right-brained is tougher than I had imagined. Then I decided to go all preschooler and swipe my hand across all the colors. This created an amazing mix of colors.  I will say,  I was reminded of the worthiness of these silly exercises when my 15 year old looked at my Jackon Polluck rendition of Duke and commented it looked like a red bunny. At that moment, I realized what I was really sharing with my son was my willingness and desire and grow. And even though I wished it were more fun, that became the most important thing: my modeling to my kids to work out their fears to fully feel the brilliance of how God created them.

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Love Casts Out Fear

   How I feel: A bit discouraged that I couldn’t immediately relax and just enjoy the experience…that it was again about results.  Encouraged that I can acknowledge this and be praying for help to release more of little perfectionist in the area of fun. I definitely want to continue to try this exercise.  I’m excited to keep moving with this project. There is so much more fear than I knew. And it’s time to get ‘er gone.

 

Silly Moment #1

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This is a 4 ❤️ palpitation moment. The very idea of doing this made my anxiety level go through the roof.

Moment: Wear bunny ears to the local pizza joint.

Details: I gave my sweet husband the option to not go with me in case he might be uncomfortable. He chose to wait at home. J If roles were reversed, I probably would’ve done the same. Why is this SO hard?

My fear: People will roll their eyes; their body language will grossly show their clear distaste for my ridiculous behavior. The cashier will indulge me in allowing me to video tape her but she will be a bit condescending. I will leave feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

Response: The cashier greeted me with, “You all ready for Easter?” in a complete non-condescending voice. The other customers giggled in the sweetest fashion. As I opened the door for one customer leaving with her hands full, she said “Thank you. By the way, you look soooo cute.” Meagan the cashier, agreed to let me video she and I . It seemed like a complete non-event to her and the other employees…like people come in to their shop every day with bunny ears on their heads. Meagan asked if this was something for a contest. I explained the situation. And she seemed cool with it.

Truth: No eye rolling. No “You are RIDICULOUS” looks or body language. I did leave feeling embarrassed but not as badly as I had assumed.

New Fear: Will I be embarrassed when I go in next week to pick up our pizza? And if so, why?

Nervous about my next encounter with Meagan. I’m not sure why. I hope to figure that out.

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