To do something silly every day for 100 days, document it on Facebook and Periscope, and then journal my experience (what was scary, how did others respond).
Why? Well first, my life coach believes there are lessons to be learned from the experience. And by the very fact that the thought of having a tooth pulled with no Novocain sounds more fun to me, I think maybe there is truth to his mad fantastic idea.
Let me explain. I was that girl in school who only got A’s and B’s. Yes, I was always serious about working hard and succeeding. From the time I was 6 years old and decided I was going to make my parents proud of me by getting good grades, the little perfectionist grew and rose to new heights. And let’s just say, it hasn’t always been pretty. Why? Because, much to my chagrin, I learned I cannot control everyone and everything. Whaaattt?? I know. Crazy, right? Thankfully, over time I have learned to let many of my perfectionists ways go. I’ve learned I’m much happier that way. My mom would always ask us kids, “Would you rather be right or happy?” I have decided happy is best. Most of the time.
Nevertheless, from time to time that sneaky little perfectionists rears her head and attempts to draw me back into her clutches. Yes, I know. Someone needs to give her a lil’ spankin’.
So, to say the least, sometimes, it’s difficult for me to just cut loose. Fun for me is researching how to make goat cheese, growing a garden, or how to raise a baby chick. I love to learn. Which in of itself is not bad. It isn’t. But I realize there are things in this life I miss out on because I don’t want to be seen as ridiculous or silly. I want to be seen as an intelligent woman. But somewhere deep inside me is this fear that if I do something outlandish, folks will lose respect for me, and then they will know for sure that I am really not that smart. And THEN I’ll be found out. Everyone will know that it’s all been just a façade.
I’m just being honest. It’s ugly in there (in my head) sometimes. The good news is I want to be rid of that stinkin’ thinkin’. And that is why I am willing to jump into this hateful wonderful exhilarating exercise that will put me smack dab into pure discomfort.
That’s right, I am entering the Uncomfortable Zone on purpose. My goal is to face my fears and see if they really are true. My mom says fear is like a shadow. It always appears bigger than it really is. Yep. My mom is a very wise woman. And so I’m off to find out what is true and what is not. I expect there will be some major dumping of extra baggage along the way. I expect I will come out on the other end much lighter. I expect I will be freed. And that is the goal. To be freed from the lies that stop me from being all that I can be.
Pray for me. I already feel my heart trying to leap outside of my chest.